Ⅰ提纲作文

[2017 全国Ⅰ卷]

(适用地区：河南、河北、山西、江西、湖北、湖南、广东、安徽、福建、山东等)

[试题展示]

假定你是李华，正在教你的英国朋友Leslie学习汉语。请你写封邮件告知下次上课的计划。内容包括：

(1)时间和地点；(2)内容：学习唐诗；(3)课前准备：简要了解唐朝的历史。

注意：

1.词数100左右；2.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。

Dear Leslie,

Yours,

Li Hua

[真题评析]

今年全国Ⅰ卷的书面表达仍是英语书信(邮件)。试题以考生熟悉的话题切入，让考生有话可说，写作内容又涉及唐诗和唐朝历史，这体现了语言作为文化交流工具的双向性，英语不仅可以介绍西方文化，也是把中国文化介绍给世界的媒介。试题较自然地融入了我国传统文化内容，运用中国元素讲好中国故事。根据表达的需要，作文应以一般将来时为主，可穿插使用其他时态。

[参考范文]

Dear Leslie,

I’m glad to see you have made great progress in learning Chinese these days. I’m writing to tell you something about the plan for your next Chinese class.

As the weather is getting hotter and hotter, it is a good idea to study indoors. I’m planning to have your next Chinese class from 8:00 am to 11:00 am on Saturday through QQ video at home. Please get ready for it. We are going to learn some Chinese poems that were written in the Tang Dynasty. Therefore, please spend some time taking a brief look at the history of the Tang Dynasty, which will help you make good preparations for your class.

Yours,

Li Hua

满分作文1

Dear Leslie,

I’m Li Hua. I am delighted to know you are interested in Chinese poems. Now I’m writing to inform you of the plan for the next class.①

Actually many people are very fond of reciting Chinese poems.② I think it great fun to learn the poems written in the Tang Dynasty with you.③ We are to meet on Sunday morning at the People’s Park, which is an ideal place to study.④ Our class will last from 8:00 am to 10:00 am, then we can go to the bookstore together. Furthermore, I suggest you borrow a history book and learn the history of the Tang Dynasty in advance, which can help you better understand the poems to be learned.⑤

Should you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to let me know.⑥ Looking forward to your early reply.

Yours,

Li Hua

满分点击

① that引导的宾语从句，高级词汇be delighted和made great progress的使用，使文章开篇增色不少；

② 使用了which引导的定语从句、what引导的名词性从句以及过去分词短语作状语，属于高级复合句，显示了作者扎实的英语功底；

③ in order to、acquire、advise等高级词汇的使用，使本句成为文章的亮点；

④ 结尾处使用高级词汇benefit from，使文章上了一个台阶。

重要词汇与短语

1. be fond of 喜欢；喜爱

例Jeff is fond of Chinese classical literature. 杰夫很喜欢中国古典文学。

2. in advance 提前；预先

例They will pay a hundred dollars in advance. 他们将预付100美元。

点石成金

原 作

Dear Leslie,

I’m Li Hua. I am glad to see you find pleasure in learning Chinese poems. I’m writing to tell you something about your next Chinese class.

We are going to learn some Chinese Tang Dynasty poems. And we will have class in our school library from 4:00 pm to 6:00 pm on Friday. Poems written in the Tang Dynasty have been translated into other languages and they are popular both at home and abroad. I’m sure you will like them very much. In order to help you understand them better, you’d better learn the history of the Tang Dynasty before the class.

Looking forward to your early reply.

Yours,

Li Hua

范 例

Dear Leslie,

I’m Li Hua. I am so delighted to see you are interested in learning Chinese poems. I’m writing to tell you the schedule of your next Chinese class.

We are going to learn some Chinese poems written in the Tang Dynasty in our school library from 4:00 pm to 6:00 pm on Friday. To be frank, poems written in the Tang Dynasty are popular both at home and abroad, many of which have been translated into other languages. I’m sure you will find them well worth reading. In order to help you have a better understanding of them, you’d better learn the history of the Tang dynasty ahead of time.

Looking forward to your early reply.

Yours,

Li Hua

点评

原作要点比较齐全，基本完成了写作任务。但短文中使用的简单句较多，行文不够连贯，表达略为生硬，并且缺乏高级词汇和亮点句式。这些导致其得分档次只能定在第四档，即得分18 分左右。

范例对原作的用词和句式进行了修改，词汇使用和句式变换方面较为出色，将得分档次提升到了第五档，得分22 分左右。

1. 用高级词汇对原句进行升级，如:be delighted to do sth.，schedule，have a better understanding of，ahead of time 等，使表达更地道；

2.升级了原作中的简单句子，如...well worth reading代替原句中的like them very much， 用many of which have been...对原句进行整合等，不仅语言更，而且提高了写作的难度，尤其把them改为which，使原句变成了非限制性定语从句，大大提升了文章的得分档次；

3. 使用from 4:00 pm to 6:00 pm on Friday时间状语，过去分词written作后置定语，使文章的语言表达更、更丰富，为整篇文章增加了亮点。